There are some things that probably shouldn't be admitted by grown adults such as myself, but where is the fun in that? After all, if I can encourage other people by detailing here how absolutely insane I am, then I have done my duty to society. Read on with care...
I had an exciting clearance shopping experience a while back, when I found a CUTE black & pink keyhole top for just $4.00. (Do not adjust your screen. It really was just $4.00.) So I snatched it up, and much to my surprise, it actually FIT, making this find a double-reward...very cheap price AND it fits! (And all God's children said, AMEN!) Ok anyhow, I've had this top hanging in my closet, just waiting for the right moment to be worn for the first time. Now like most clothes (especially black prints) it says right on the tag that you should wash it first before wearing it, and usually I follow all tag mandates. (Like not removing mattress tags...oh wait, I am the consumer, and I have the government's approval!) But as luck would have it, I had not pre-washed this shirt, and yet my heart yearned to wear it yesterday. I mean, I REALLY needed to wear it. I had no special place to go, no big date, but I wanted to wear this top. SO I broke all clothing laws, cut off the tags, and put on my beloved shirt. And wow, what a shirt it was. It was soft and comfy and all-around wonderful. I reveled in my new shirt and the joy it brought me.
Half way thru the day I noticed that my fingernails looked strange, like they had been dyed purple. I washed them several times, but still they looked odd. Then I remembered my new shirt and how black it was. Now I hadn't been rubbing my shirt all day or anything, but somehow the dye must have been turning my fingernails purple. Oh well, I could live with that. What harm could come if my fingers were purple?
The reality of the black shirt did not come until this morning. As I got ready to hop in the shower, I saw a shadow near my armpit. I looked again--it was NOT a shadow. My armpit was purple! I mean PURPLE, like eggplant. That darn shirt had dyed my armpits! This was the price to pay for disobeying the tag laws!!! So I showered and scrubbed extra hard, but the purple was still there. It just refused to go away, mocking me and reminding me that I could not escape the consequences of my decision.
The moral is of course to obey all laws, no matter how seemingly inconsequential. Thankfully no one will see my purple armpits since it's another chilly sweatshirt day. But I've learned my lesson permanently. So take heart. You are probably not as mentally-challenged as I am.